Imagine you're in a loving relationship with a man who you think is committed to you. You would probably never think he would have an affair with another woman..alone promiscuous sex with other men, but that's exactly what some say men who are living on the "down low" are doing. The desire was so strong that it overrode everything that I knew. He was extremely financially stable, family oriented and held the same religious beliefs as I did, but of course, I knew I would not see him again.As we concluded the night, I was baffled by the idea that this man had sustained long-term committed relationships with women—that he actually sought them out and that women obliged.Not long after being on the road, he began to enthusiastically sing all of the songs.Now this perhaps might be cute and silly behavior for a boyfriend hanging out with his girlfriend, but amongst strangers it somehow struck me as awkward behavior. As I sat on edge in the passenger seat, frantically wondering how I’d endure what I was sure would be a long night at this point, I tried to maintain my composure.How is it that women comfortably date men who appear obviously gay?I think we all recognize that there are men who are charismatic and masculine, who exude sex appeal and aptly woo women, but who secretly desire and have sex with other men.
I walked into my home that night with so many questions swirling around in my head, because I knew I had seen men like him with many kinds of women.
While I had resolved to keep an open mind, in my head was the reality that I would need to see some unbridled manliness (whatever that is) during this date in order to be comfortable with seeing him for a second one.
The evening of the date, he greeted me with a single red rose, opened the passenger car door, waited until I was all buckled up before he returned to the driver’s seat (manners! We did the precursory small talk and enjoyed popular tunes courtesy of satellite radio.
"I don't want to get caught up in the whole gay culture because people look at gay people as being less than a man, that you are this sissy ... "The greatest taboo is to be black and homosexual, and I refuse to be labeled and classified as this character."J. says men in the black community who come out and say, "I'm gay and proud," are treated differently.
says there's a stigma that exists for gay men, and he doesn't see himself that way.